Twas the Month After Christmas

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Twas the month after Christmas
And all through the house
Nothing would fit me,
Not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled,
The eggnog I’d taste.
All the holiday parties
Had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales
There arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous meals
I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces
And beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls
The bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said
“No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself
In my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again
To do battle with dirt …

I said to myself
As I only can
“You can’t spend a winter
Disguised as a man!”

So … away with the
Last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake
Every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food
That I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces
Have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie
Not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew
On a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits
Or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot
And quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome
And life is a bore …
But isn’t that what
January is for?

Unable to giggle
No longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and
To all a good diet!

Author Unknown

Choose a diet that fits your lifestyle and you won’t be doomed to disguise yourself as a man … Or to eat food you don’t like …

Believe in yourself! You can lose weight without feeling like the author of this poem obviously did!

Read Diet Reviews Now and next January you won’t feel such gloom.

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